Girl, It's Time To Love Yourself PART 3 (FINAL WORD, PROMISE)...
“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
– Fred Rogers
I swear this is my last blog post on the topic of self care (who knew it was going to be a series LOL). I guess I feel passionately about the subject matter, and as it’s something I struggle with on a daily basis, I’m hoping something I have written will help you too.
In my other two blog posts on self care and self love I gave you a number of suggestions and recommendations (again, a good reminder to myself).
In this blog post I’d like to talk about what self care is NOT - so that you don’t confuse self care with doing things that temporarily make you feel better in the short run but frankly are damaging in the long run or can be …
Doing things that qualify as self care and self love do one of the following:
1) Raise your spirits and fill your tank or
2) Are required to ensure your ongoing health - physically, mentally and spiritually.
Any activities your brain might want to tell you is self care, or self love that do not fit into either of these categories - ARE NOT.
Let’s talk specifics.
Going shopping for a new outfit/jacket/work clothes - that you’ve been thinking about about and can easily afford equals self care.
Binge shopping late at night on Amazon and making impulse purchases (ahem), or shopping for things for yourself you can’t afford easily are NOT SELF CARE. They are SELF DAMAGING.
Sometimes it can be tricky to determine the difference because our minds can be pretty crafty at coming up with justifications for damaging behavior.
Other examples of self damaging behavior:
pouring yourself a drink after the kids have gone to bed (I have strong views about this - DON’T DO IT. It is a very slippery slope. I have met a large number of alcoholics fighting for their recovery who started this way.
having a one night stand for the sake of feeling “worthy”. It might make you feel great for an hour or an evening but in the long run it’s likely going to make you feel a whole lot worse about yourself. Be picky. You deserve it.
spending money on things you don’t need with money you don’t have. I’m not talking about necessities - I’m talking about luxuries. A new car. That cute Prada purse. Any kind of credit card debt unless it’s an emergency. If you can buy these things easily and it’s truly something that will raise your spirits - then go for it. But if not, avoid like the plague.
I think I’ve said enough on this topic and I’m sure you get the idea. The upshot is be on the look out for things that are truly self care and self love (go for it) - and those things that on the surface might look as though they are - but in reality are not.
Sending YOU tons of LOVE.
J